Seeking God for God


Battlefield

Dear Father,

I was caught up with a task deadline this last few days, one I thought I’d never finish. Finally, last night I completed my task – 3 days late of the deadline. During those last 3 days, I remembered You a lot: I read about You, I wrote about You, I missed You. I was desperate.

Heart Commandment

Heart Commandment (Photo credit: Will Humes)

I came across the dreaded verse again yesterday in an email devotional: “The two greatest commandments” – with a twist. It highlighted how You gave the second commandment even though the people didn’t ask for it. The question people asked was – what is the greatest commandment? You answered – loving God. Then You gave the second too – without the people asking for it. The email highlighted that it was because loving God is only complete (and comes full circle) when I love myself and I love others, and these 2 commandments cannot be separated.

Cover of "Battlefield of the Mind: How to...

Cover via Amazon

I found a very inspirational blog Father – Jumping on Clouds – and through the blog I found a person who had gone through painful things in their lives but had come out victorious through You. Someone who is both hopeful and joyful through You. Like Joyce Meyer says in her first chapter of “Battlefield of the Mind” (the book jumpingonclouds recommended to me), I used to be both hopeless and miserable. Then when I was 15 and was found by You, I became hopeful and for a time joyful. But I didn’t let go of my past. My misery and pain remained and so the scars didn’t heal completely. I didn’t let go, so You brought me face to face with it in December 2010 and more profoundly in July 2011. I’m recovering from those experiences, yes, but I haven’t yet learnt about being joyful. You keep bringing me against situations where I cannot ignore.

I started listening again to Joyce Meyer’s broadcasts from her website. In her “Intimacy with God – Part 2” she said something that really got to me: we are so caught up in asking “things” of You that we seek You for “things” but we don’t really seek You for You.

I don’t know where I go from here, Father, but like Paul said in Philippians 4:6-7, and like Joyce Meyer also said, I’m going to ask here for what I need. You. Please. I ask this in the name of Jesus, my Savior through His blood and the cross.

Amen.

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Walking the Thin Line


Flower & pot

Flower & pot (Photo credit: Vijay Sonar)

Father,

When I look at my life, I seem to be walking a very thin line between giving up and barely keeping my head above the water.  Maybe it is a safety valve You’ve built in to my life to keep in check my tendency to be prideful and selfish. The struggle drives me to You and opens my eyes to other struggling people, giving me the ability to relate to them! It’s like the story about the cracked pot used to grow flowers along the path. Take my struggle with forgiveness.

It’s interesting to note that most bible devotionals I read the past couple of days focused on love, fruits of the spirit etc. The theme touched me a lot and the repeating pattern caught my notice.

Father, I need knowledge in Your perspective, so that I may rejoice in what You choose for me. Most of the time, I waste days being discouraged about my circumstances and challenges, when they are really blessings in disguise, given to teach me in Your ways. Thank You for being patient with me when my family and friends acknowledge how difficult it is to love me and live with me.

Father, I came across Hebrews 10: 26 – 31 yesterday, which reminded me of the man Christian saw who had lost You in Bunyan’s “Pilgrim’s Progress” and I grew worried. I need to always remember You Father! Thank You for scattering the little reminders through out my day that show me You still love me!

Father, forgive me my cracked nature and my forgetfulness and use them for Your work. Just as You are patient with me, help me be patient with the cracked pots and forgetful people in my life and love them like You do. I ask this in the name of Jesus, my Lord and my Savior.

Amen

–xx–

The Broken Pot (source: www.word4life.com)

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on an end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the masters house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his masters house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

“I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.” 
“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?” 
“I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your masters house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts.” the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the masters house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the Pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pots side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my masters table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We’re all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father’s table. In Gods great economy, nothing goes to waste. Don’t be afraid of your flaws.

Acknowledge them, and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness your strength is made perfect. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

 

Forgiveness


Lily of the valley

Lily of the valley (Photo credit: storebukkebruse)

Galatians 5: 22 – 23 [NKJV]22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. – Verses taken from http://www.biblegateway.com

Loving, forgiving Father in Heaven,

I am struggling to forgive one who has hurt me and slighted me. In return, I have reacted with harsh words, telling myself and others that I have given my enemy a piece of my mind. I don’t know how to regulate my future dealings with them as a Christian because my pride stands in the way. Also, my fear of being hurt keeps me in my shell like a turtle afraid to be exposed and open to attack.

I have wronged You much more than this one person wronged me. Still, You searched for me, found me, forgave me, not keeping back Your own Son! I’m ashamed at my reluctance to forgive. I am truly sorry for being such a weak minded follower.

Father, I need to be filled with Your love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, so that I may not grieve You by withholding the forgiveness You gave me. Thank you for forgiving me, loving me and never giving up on me. Please open my eyes and my heart so that I may see and walk in Your ways. Help me forgive my self and start again, try again and stand again.

Please, hear my prayer and grant my requests through Your son Jesus, my Lord and my Saviour.

Amen.

Success bounce (via Qualiaquotesforlife’s Blog)


Success

We all hit bottom. Right now I feel like I am at the bottom. Do I accept defeat or do I fight back, pushing back against pressure to conform and be yourself in the process? I bounce back. As high as I can! Away from the people who want to talk you down, out of your dreams. I don’t hear them anymore. Even when it’s my near and dear loved ones. Satan attacks the mind, heart and your words through where it hurts the most.

It’s not right to shout back at your mother when she is unconsciously registering doubt in you when all you want her to have is faith. You need someone to have faith in you. But it isn’t completely necessary, because Jesus has faith in you. He had so much faith that He gave us the benefit of the doubt always and gave us free will, even when He knew we could go from bad to worse. That’s because He had faith in us. As such, we should never let the “bottom” stick us up to it but keep jumping as high as we can to get over the slump.

“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” – General George PattonRead More

via Qualiaquotesforlife’s Blog

Please Take Me Home!


love, love, love...

There is in me something that rejoices in evil and glorifies wickedness. I feel powerless against it and I’m scared. Gone are the illusions of help from the world, friends or family in my struggle. I’m truly alone. There’s me, there’s You and there’s him and You are my only refuge in the battle I know now. No one can help me but You. Or someone sent by You. I’m very afraid.

As the world celebrates Your victory over sin, death and him, I pray and ask You to look mercifully upon this wandering, disobedient child that You died for; who helped to kill You; who helped to betray You. Lazy child! Failure! Hypocrite that preaches yet does not act; stays home and avoids churches; out of work and dependent. I know You can turn me around if You choose to. In fact, only You can help me now. Please… Don’t turn away from my pain. I have turned away from eyes overflowing with pain that looked in to mine and I’m asking You to treat me different from how I’ve treated others. I don’t deserve You or Your help. But I ask all the same. Please… Teach me. Correct me! Forgive me. Please… Take me home!

Please… Take me home!

Help Me!


Sky cloudy

Image via Wikipedia

The pain I felt and the unhappiness I was under could be cut with a knife. That’s how hard and solid the feelings had become in my life. I yearn for a companion, on the road home, because I feel so lonely.

Today, others celebrate the Lord’s rising, while I shed tears in my room. I stayed away from the church. I don’t know whether I’m right or wrong. Good or bad. The road seems so dark. My sacrifices seem to mean nothing; my goals seem empty and my heart, void. It’s gloomy outside. The perfect curtain to my soul and it is soothing to my tear stained eyes. I don’t think I can stand this much longer. Nor can I tolerate the sunshine right now.

I know the Lord has a plan in all this, though I feel deaf and blind, right at this moment. I don’t know what the plan is and it is frustrating. All I know is that I’m lost once again and can only hope He would find me.