My Own Worst Enemy

Homeless and hungry

Image by Ed Yourdon via Flickr

For the past few months every time a loved one let me down I consoled myself saying, “It’s God and me against world!”. Now, things have changed. When I say God and myself, it signifies an equal partnership where each does what he/she is supposed to do. However, in our partnership I was constantly letting God down. What then? It’s only God, God and God. I cannot rely on myself because most times  I am my own worst enemy; I lack self discipline and will power; I break my own promises!

Right now things are very vague and cloudy. I sway between extremes, yearning towards the stability the middle of the road will bring. I want to know that even now, I am God’s and He still loves me. I don’t want Him to give up on me!  Because I have realized that I cannot rely on even myself!

Will God get tired of this way-faring, struggling little Christian? If that happens I am lost forever, because I have only Him.